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22.2.05
Destigmatizing Sex Work: Erotica, Nude Modelling and Phone Sex
For the previous installments of this series:
Introduction
Strippers
Erotic Massage & Tantra
BDSM & Fetish
In this installment I will cover erotica, nude modelling and phone sex. Within erotica I will include writing erotica and erotic photography/painting/etc.. These three tend to also be among the more acceptible forms of commercial sex and erotic expression. But those who list these occupations as theirs would still not be taken seriously and could be discriminated against for a variety of reasons in a variety of ways.
Erotica: Literature
It's often viewed as 'highbrow' erotic expression. After all, desire begins in the mind. Many people enjoy being seduced through words. The correct usage can inflame the passions. Think about how many people, men and women, long to have the ability to compose a love letter that will have their lover hot, wet, hard and anxiously waiting for that night's encounter? Some automatically assume such a letter would have to be flowery. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. That depends on the recipient. Love letters or poems can be light and flighty or dark and naughty. This is one form of erotic literature.
This takes skill just as any form of writing does. To write good erotica, it helps to have experience with sex and with more than one person as each person has nuances of difference in what turns them on. I'm an avid reader of fan fiction and I can always tell when an author attempts to put characters in sexual situations and it's clear that they've never had sexual relations of their own.
Anyway, I digress. Erotic literature also has a history with millennia of tradition. It's even in the Bible! Though the Song of Solomon is thought by many scholars to be a pagan creation adopted/co-opted into Judaic literature. Sonnets and poems were dedicated to the ancient sex Goddesses. Enheduana, prostitute-priestess of Inanna 'wrote the oldest words by an author whose name is known today'. Among those words were verses that praised the intelligent, erotic, beautiful and divine nature of her Goddess. There are later verses dedicated to Inanna/Ishtar that are very sexual in tone and probably recited at annual sexual rites:
Inanna- My vulva, the Horn
The Boat of Heaven
Is full of eagerness like the young moon
My untilled land lies fallow
As for me, Inanna,
Who will plow my vulva?
Who will plow my high field?
Who will plow my wet ground?
Dumuzi, her suitor answers- Great Lady, the king will plow your vulva
I, Dumuzi, the King, will plow your vulva
Inanna- Then plow my vulva, man of my heart!
Plow my vulva!
Move on to the bardic poetry of troubadours in the Middle Ages, known for their love ballads. Truly they were the first 'modern' balladeers. Even Shakespeare had erotic overtures in quite a few of his plays and sonnets. The Renaissance saw the great works of courtesans Tullia d'Aragona and Veronica Franco in Italy. Veronica wrote:
Whenever I am in bed with one who, as I sense,
loves me and enjoys me, I become so delectable and
tender, my pleasure surpasses all other
delights, and what appears to be the tightest
of love knots become yet tighter. Veronica Franco, Venice, ca. 1570
D.H. Lawrence's 'Lady Chatterley's Lover was banned because of sexual content and was printed privately in Florence, Italy in 1928. At the dawn of the 21st century, censorship isn't that extreme, yet. Playboy, though known for it's airbrushed centerfolds, publishes erotica also, which is where I got my first glance. I don't remember who wrote it, but I liked it!
Susie Bright has written several erotic stories and even released a book of tips for those who want to learn who to write their own erotica, either for personal or commercial use. On her website she posts the table of contents to her book How to Read/Write a Dirty Story . In the table is a link to a list of resources for aspiring authors. Susie also edits annual editions of The Best American Erotica 2005 (an anthology). The website Clean Sheets, though the name might fool ya, accepts entries from amateur writers.
Though you don't necessarily need a degree in your mother tongue or adopted language to successfully write, a thorough knowledge of it is needed. There's fierce competition in the field of writing erotica . Most people aren't turned on by a plethora of "ums" and "ers" and "like, you knows" in between sexy vocab. Writing is a resource for those who can't imagine actually saying the words. Those who can express their desire in an orgasm-laden voice find lucrative work as a phone sex operator. I will address them later.
Erotica: Visual Media
Of course by this I refer to sculptures, paintings and photography. My other subject of nude modelling will be touched upon briefly in this section.
Visual erotica has been around since humans realized that red ochre makes a really good marking device. Though much has been made of the hunting scenes found in prehistoric caves, many of the markings and paintings were of the vulva triangle. Found in the same caves were clay figures of voluptuous and often fat Goddesses referred to as Great Goddesses. Following the status quo line these were dismissed as mere fertility idols, inconsequential to the great patriarchal religions.
They very well could be fertility idols. Fertility was and still is very important to our species. If we have no fertility, we have no life. Women and all females represent said fertility, which is why, in my opinion, is why the Divine was seen as Feminine for all those years. Anyway, in an age that didn't have the burden of shame on sexual relations, these sexual markers were seen as beauty and necessity.
Many of the most famous ancient sculptures and modern sculptures depict the human form in various stages of undress. Michaelangelo's David, Praxiteles' Aphrodite of Cnidos, etc. who was modeled after the hetera Phyrne. Ancient Greek vases depict nudity as well, both in a sexual and natural content.
As far as paintings you've seen many of the more famous ones, which I use in my header space. Outside of the Mona Lisa, Sandro Botticelli's The Birth of Venus is one of the most recognizable paintings ever created. Until very recent times (think the debut of Playboy) only prostitutes served as the subjects of nude or partial nude female sculptures and in paintings. After all, no 'respectable' woman would pose nude for an artist or allow her likeness on a nude body.
Photography has largely replaced sculptures and paintings of the human form. Erotic photography is presented in a plethora of forms and in a multitude of venues from museums to magazines to art history books. Of course there are the magazines Penthouse, Playboy, Playgirl, Perfect 10, UK's Loaded among many others. Online there's the site Suicide Girls, which publishes pin-ups of punk and goth and other alternative girls who don't fit into the Playboy mold. Started by a former stripper, Kiko Wu, Goddess Digital Media originally began as an outlet to show diverse Asian beauty, but now accept models of diverse ethnic backgrounds and body types so long as they're over 18. Amazon.com sells over 220 books on erotic photography including one that gives tips on how to make your own nude photographic portraits at home. What a nice segue to my next topic!
Nude Modeling
Even though posing nude is more acceptable these days, it's still relegated in the minds of the puritanical American public as something only 'certain girls' do. Or at least publically anyway. Many people who would condemn women and men who pose nude have private photos of themselves nude (Dr. Laura!!). Personally, I'd love to pose nude either for a mainstream publication, or for an artist.
Nude modeling can be highly profitable for the model and the photographer. Goddess Digital Media pays their models between $800 and $1200 a day. It doesn't always have to be erotic in nature. The enterprising, gorgeous and talented, Minneapolis-based Heather Corinna does erotic, fashion, personal and body-positive photography. Body-positive meaning pictures which serve as therapy to assist others in overcoming body issues. I would LOVE to work with her. Heather's pictures are absolutely beautiful. She is, by the way, the creator and webmistress of Scarleteen, which offers comprehensive and honest sex education for teenagers that they're obviously and probably not getting at home or at school. Many adults could stand to take lessons from that site as well.
A nude model can find work in a variety of places especially at art schools as aspiring artists learn to sketch and paint the human form. Usually not high pay, if at all. However, for those who can hold poses for a long time and don't mind being nude will find the work satisfying if nothing else. I can understand the hesitation people have about their bodies. Either we're told that it's a bad thing or we're told that our bodies don't fit the acceptible mold.
Being a mainstream nude model is challenging because of the pressure to keep the weight down and to have a certain 'look'. But luckily there is more choice such as the companies I mentioned above. Does this require a lot of brains? The actual modeling, well, not really. That's definitely not to say that models of any form are as stupid as the stereotype portrays them to be. But modeling is a lot of direction taking.
One thing it does require in any case is a lot of patience. Sessions can take anywhere from one hour to several days. Comfort with the body is paramount as is knowing your limits.
Now, I was trying to think of another clever segue for my final section in this post but oh well.
Phone Sex Operators
Talk dirty to me.
Would you know how to? Me, I've actually done a couple phone sex calls as an operator. Unpaid. Let me explain. About seven months ago I lived with a young woman who worked as a phone sex operator. A couple of her callers wanted to hear some girl on girl action so we'd fake like we were eating each other's pussies and the guys would get off. I always played the part of a hot Latina (even though I'm not I speak enough Spanish so I can pass). I have to say that experience just further proved for me how empowering sex work can be.
We had to stop ourselves from laughing because we had to be overdramatic so the caller could hear the 'sexual relations' going on. My roommate, I'll call her Flower, was mistress of the guise. She described herself in a way completely opposite from how she actually looked. The clientele leaned toward the white, suburban, midwest, buxom yet slim barely legal type (very Playboy) but Flower is an African-American BBW. Obviously, not meshing with the target group.
Flower has a very sexy voice when she works. High but breathy and giggles in all the right places. Although not always depending on the call. Sometimes the request would be for a Domina type. She didn't mind those. I noticed that she was able to hang up on creeps. She kept the others talking though and because of that she made a lot of money. Now, this takes brains and wit. You've gotta respect that.
I remember she would have calls that would depress her though. A couple guys requested mother-types because they said they were molested as children by their mothers. Ugh. Then a guy who, I would assume, would LOVE scat play. The first one of those calls caught her off guard. The man wanted to hear her shit so she sacrificed her M&Ms to the toilet. *cries* We had some cheap mini jawbreakers in the kitchen which I suggested she keep near her just in case. Why should innocent and scrumptious morsels of chocolate be condemned to the toilet for phone-based scat play?
Hey, there are books on this subject too! For example there is Miranda Austin's Phone Sex: Aural Thrills and Oral Skills and The Fine Art of Erotic Talk: How to Entice, Excite and Enchant Your Lover With Words by Bonnie Gabriel. I would imagine that people who can write erotica could fare well on a phone sex line and vice versa. Whether they want to or not is a different matter. I see it as two sides of the same coin: the usage of words to incite passion and orgasm. A powerful tool.
The common stereotype of phone sex workers? Either that they're cheesy or they're really fat, ugly women who sit around in rollers with their six kids in the trailer park. That may be the case with some phone sex workers, with others, not so much. Like any other worker, it's comprised of a variety of people. Maybe a woman or man who wants to enter sex work but doesn't want in-the-flesh interaction yet wants to help people to orgasm, phone sex is a viable and smart choice for them. Flower, she needed extra money and she definitely got it. She was independent, though she worked for a company, she made her own hours essentially.
Like prostitutes have often reported, sex comes second with the client. Often they just want to talk to a female. Have a conversation. The same occurs with phone sex workers and I know a couple times Flower didn't have to orgasm loudly to do her job. Sometimes the client just wants to talk. So they do a bit a therapy as well. Certainly a stigma shouldn't be applied to that.
Posted at 11:33 pm by La_Libertine
 | | | Kathleen
February 24, 2005 03:53 PM PST
Veronica Francos´poem is truly erotic, sensual noble without being crass. Love it! Another inspiration for me. Phone sex operators... Unlike courtesans they have the privilage of remaining unknown to their ....... Kathleen | |
| | | Jezebel
February 25, 2005 11:56 PM PST
Veronica Franco's poems got me to appreciate poetry. Not that Walt Whitman isn't great, but if Veronica's pieces, even the non-erotic ones, had been taught to me I definitely would've loved poetry sooner.
And you're spot on about courtesans as opposed to PSOs. But at the same time soundwaves can't make up for human touch. Win some, lose some. C'est la vie. | |
| | | Kathleen
February 26, 2005 04:38 AM PST
Excellent response, Jezebel! | |
| | | Jezebel
February 26, 2005 05:28 AM PST
:) I try. | |
| | | woodsmoke
March 3, 2005 12:07 PM PST
Unfortunately, Flower isn't in business anymore since her brother moved in with her. I feel sorry for her former customers.
I rather enjoy erotic literature myself, both writing and reading. I will say, however, that quality poetry is MUCH more difficult to write than prose, especially if it's of an erotic nature.
For myself, erotica from a pen comes easily--thanks in large part to my sisters' willingness to offer advice/information as well as my own naturally descriptive writing style. Vocal erotica, however, is an entirely different matter. When you said that erotic writing is often chosen by those who can't imagine themselves actually saying the things they write you were talking about me. ;) | |
| | | Jezebel
March 3, 2005 05:22 PM PST
Aww, Flower's out of commission? Damn, that sucks. Well, the door is always open for her to return.
You've never shown me any of your erotica bro! I'm hurt. :P But, really, I'm glad to be of help. I could be vocally erotic but usually in an in-the-flesh capacity because I'm touchy-feely in addition to that. | |
| | | woodsmoke
March 4, 2005 03:44 PM PST
Yeah, I'm kinda' the same way. Vocal stimulation over the phone and vocal stimulation in person are two entirely different ball parks.
Hehe, I don't know if I even have any of it anymore. I used to write, but haven't done anything of an erotic nature for years. Methinks I may have to fire up WP and see if I can't rectify that. ;) | |
| | | Jezebel
March 5, 2005 06:34 PM PST
Totally do that, bro! Then you can send some entries into some online erotica publishers. Get your stuff out there! | |
| | | flower
March 6, 2005 02:45 PM PST
yeah, i'm out of commission with the phone-sexing, but i have to say, the best times i had doing it where when you were here. i still remember the first time you helped me out and we laughed and laughed, while moaning like we'd lost our minds. and the jawbreaker idea was genius, i tell you. even after we parted ways, i had to use those jawbreakers. LOL. thank you for taking an objective look at what it is i did [and what many others do], and i'm glad to have been able to help you experience the inside of phone sex. | |
| | | Jezebel
March 7, 2005 01:46 AM PST
Woody told me. I said, "NOOO! She was so good!"
I'm so glad I thought about those jawbreakers because the thought of chocolate going down the toilet brings tears to my eyes. But hey, duty calls right?
I truly admired what you did and I hope you'll be able to return, though I do know why you had to quit. The times I chimed in with you were hilarious, indeed, but wow, I don't think I could've done the job you did. Another area of sex work but you owned that phone! | |
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